Homestar's Best Decemberween Ever '03
by Pogosword
Summary: The plot thickens as it comes to an end. What is going to happen?
1. The Coming

Pogosword: Now it's my turn to show the great art of on-line typed fake stories for the fun of it.  
  
DarkLink313: Really now Sonny Jim?  
  
Pogosword: Yes, now stand back and be amazed by my art.  
  
DarkLink313: How 'artful' can it be. I mean you think you can write a better story than my Fire Emblem.  
  
Pogosword: You're calling Fire Emblem good? Egad man, you write as well as Com-Chien can get with the ladies.  
  
Com-Chien: What? Did I hear my name?  
  
Pogosword and DarkLink313: No!  
  
Com-Chien: Bye.  
  
Pogosword: What a loser. He should stick to Gunbound.  
  
DarkLink313: And you should stick to your. . . your. . . SHUT UP!  
  
Pogosword: This is my story. You shut up.  
  
DarkLink313: No problemo.  
  
Pogosword: No back talk?  
  
DarkLink313: . . .  
  
Chapter one: The Coming  
  
After Strong Bad finishes up his 84th time of watching Deep Impact, with Pom-Pom, the Cheat, and Strong Mad, he decides he better find a better way to spend his life. The weather was cold outside. Marzipan was getting her picket signs ready, but for a new reason, not eat candy corn. Though it may have the healthiness of corn, it has the unhealthiness of candy, which isn't natural. Homestar was trick or treating from empty house to empty house, because the 'ween in Decemberween confused him. Strong Sad found a hobby, trying to make the Poopsmith talk. Coach Z and Bubs were in the business of coaching people on how to dance, using a combination of the skills of both of them. And because no one cares about the King of Towns, we can believe that he is stuck in a vat of butter. (What a dream for all of us.)  
  
Meanwhile, Homestar makes his way down the block of houses until he got to Strong Bad's house. "Ooh, Strwong Bade, he's gotta have something good to eat," Homestar muttered to himself. Before Homestar went critically insane, the door opened.  
  
"Oh crap, what are you doing here?" asked Strong Bad with an angry tone.  
  
"Trick or treat!" yelled Homestar.  
  
"What? Trick or treat? Umm. dumbface. this is Decemberween time, not Halloween time."  
  
"Ooooooooooohh," replied Homestar blankly. "So, what did you get me then?"  
  
"Who said I got you anything?"  
  
"Uhh."  
  
"Exactly, now leave and go cry in a pool of tears. Maybe my brother will join you. He's been saying something about this being the final year. Whatever though, he can't mean anything serious."  
  
"Ay ay, captain," Homestar said as he left.  
  
Strong Bad closed the door and thought to himself that wouldn't it hurt to be as stupid as Homestar. He pondered of what he was going to do. Instead, we went to check his e-mail.  
  
"The E-mail. so much can be said about the E-mail," muttered Strong Bad as he normally does. The letter read:  
  
Dear Stwrong Bade,  
  
What are you getting me for Decemberween this year? Did I say me, I meant to say Homestar.  
  
-Not Homestar  
Not by the stick, Ca  
  
"Well, you want to know what he is getting. I'm not sure yet to be honest. Don't get me wrong, I hate the guy's guts, but still. should I get him something? Wait a minute this gives me an idea." Strong Bad dictated as he typed simultaneously. 


	2. The Gift that keeps on Giving

Pogosword: So did you like it?  
  
DarkLink313: Like what?  
  
Pogosword: The first friggin' chapter moron!  
  
DarkLink313: What are you talking about?  
  
Pogosword: *smacks head on table and dents it* . . . imbecile.  
  
DarkLink313: Ha ha, I was just messing with you. I didn't think you would smack your head down that hard.  
  
Pogosword: *repeats smacking*  
  
DarkLink313: So is chapter two going to suck?  
  
Pogosword: Yes, probably . . . no! Why are you such an annoyance?  
  
DarkLink313: I just do it so I can see your angry face.  
  
Pogosword: Your mom likes to see my angry face.  
  
DarkLink313: I bet. (No, really, its true)  
  
Pogosword: So this time, pay attention.  
  
DarkLink313: To what?  
  
Pogosword: *breaks desk*  
  
Chapter 2: The gi-  
  
DarkLink313: Oh, so that's what your talking about the chapter stuff.  
  
Pogosword: G-d damn, why won't you go away? I think Final Fantasy 2 is calling you.  
  
DarkLink313: That game sucked. I should know.  
  
Pogosword: That's not the only thing that sucked. . .  
  
DarkLink313: What?  
  
Chapter 2: The Gift that ke-  
  
DarkLink313: Are you making a mom joke again?  
  
Pogosword: Yes, now do kill yourself. I'd rather talk to Com-Chien.  
  
DarkLink313: Ouch. . . I'll be quiet.  
  
Chapter 2:The Gift that keeps on Giving  
  
Instantly, Strong Bad ran to Bubs' Concessions Stand. "Hey Bubsy, what should I get Dumbstar for Decemberween?"  
  
"Here's an idea, get him something that you don't like," replied Bubs.  
  
"I think I know what to get."  
  
Meanwhile. . . (Goes to Homestar crying in a kiddie pool with Strong Sad)  
  
"What are you doing here Homestar?" asked Strong Sad.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know," replied Homestar with an attitude and a sniffle.  
  
"Yes, I would, or I wouldn't have asked. Now I see why my brother calls you Dumbface"  
  
"I'm cutting onions," answered Homestar.  
  
"Onions, why?"  
  
"Well, your brother told me to cry with you, and how else can I cry, but by cutting onions?"  
  
"I was wondering what that smell was. Wait, you don't have a nose, how could have you smelled the onion?"  
  
"Bye!" Homestar dashed out of the pool with onions (lets say hand) in hand and went to his hide away place.  
  
Strong Sad sat blankly, still shedding tears. "I know it, this is the year, the year (showstopper) kill myself.  
  
Back to Strong Bad and friends. . .  
  
"I know what to get Homestar. The Cheat, look! Do you think he would like this?" "mppf humph," said the Cheat in a reply? (can u consider that speaking)  
  
"Exactly." (Under his breath), "I have no idea what the hell that guy just said." Strong Bad ran around to tell everyone his great discovery. He told Marzipan, who thought the gift was too cruel to animals. She tried to show him her picket sign about not eating candy corn. Of course, no one cared, especially Strong Bad, so he left. He then went to Coach Z to tell him. The coach was way out of it because of a bad hangover from too much eggnog. When Strong bad was trying to get his input, all he could understand was that the coach was in some crazy gibberish talk with barley any English.  
  
Strong Bad decided to show one last person the gift, his brother, Strong Sad. "Hey Strong Sad, look at this gift I got for Dumbface Runner. Isn't it cool? And this is the only one of it that I could find," said Strong Bad who was chock full of happiness.  
  
"Why doesn't anyone get me anything? I mean, am I that bad of a person. I honestly don't see a reason in staying here anymore. If you want me, I'll be standing on the edge of a bridge with jagged rocks on the bottom. You have 2 days to make me change my mind."  
  
Strong Bad thought to himself as Strong Sad left what was going on. He was way to confused. 


	3. Chuck Woolery and Tom Foolery

Pogosword: So, you didn't like chapter one.  
  
DarkLink313: No!  
  
Pogosword: And you didn't like chapter two.  
  
DarkLink313: It was a step up, but no.  
  
Pogosword: Well you will like this one.  
  
DarkLink313: Is that so.  
  
Pogosword: Yes, people die. I eat some more babies, and the cow jumps over the moon.  
  
DarkLink313: Que?  
  
Pogosword: Sorry, I was in my nursery rhyme mode.  
  
DarkLink313: Right. And I'm eating a taquito. *munch*  
  
Pogosword: . . . you are eating a taquito.  
  
DarkLink313: No, this is . . . okay, I lied. I just wanted something to eat while I read this other piece of crap.  
  
Pogosword: Yes, you most likely will. And if this comes to be a bad chapter, then I'm going to end this by chapter five; I really don't want to carry this out longer.  
  
DarkLink313: So where can we find you?  
  
Pogosword: I'm going to write a Most Extreme Elimination Challenge episode.  
  
DarkLink313: (laughs out loud) That WILL be good. Trust me folks, he loves that show.  
  
Pogosword: On with the shizzit!  
  
Chapter 3: Chuck Woolery and Tom Foolery  
  
Strong Sad kept his word. He was at the town's bridge. The bridge was nothing more than a 2 foot high jump with little stones you find in fountains that you can buy at Bed Bath and Beyond for 20 dollars.  
  
With Decemberween now in full swing and the stars of our show in the mood, we find ourselves looking at a Homestar Runner. (you cant say normal or confused, just look at him) Homestar, standing tall with Pom Pom were having an exhilarating talk on how to be cool. Homestar found the sunglasses (featured in this weeks email) of how to be cool. Pom Pom convinced Homestar the by wearing them at night, and walking into things, he will be the coolest cat on the block. Homestar's over bitten jaw dropped with excitement to this. He put them on, faintly being able to see the palm of his invisible hands.  
  
"Oh man Pom Pom, this is so cool. Is this your gift to me, coolness?" asked Homestar runner.  
  
(Bubble, bubble, double bubble {it translates to yes})  
  
"Now I can have a cool contest with Strong Bad, because I know he is so cool. You know who I haven't talked to in a while, the cheat. I bet he is working on a flash toon. Hey pom pom, remember that one when Bubs was a talking chair, and there was that guy 'Ey Steve,' that was a good toon."  
  
Pom Pom gets an angry face.  
  
"Oh, I forgot, you really wanted the role of the wheel chair."  
  
Now to Coach Z.  
  
"Hey Strong Sad, what are you doing?" asked the coach.  
  
"Haven't you heard? No one has told you? Oh man, I got to get this over quick," said Strong Sad more depressed than ever.  
  
Are ya trying to commit that there self-termination as that robot says in that movie? I think it's called the Determinator or something. You know, where that cayberg goes back in time to kill the kid, but then he ends up being good and saves the kid from that other cyberg. Oh man, that's a classic. You know, it reminds me of a very long story once. It's about a bunch of people who kill themselves because they are sick of listening to annoying voices and long stories. And I tell ya, this is no clown joke," the coach rambled on.  
  
Now to Marzipan  
  
Marzipan received word of the horror going on with Strong Sad. Because the fact she didn't like him, she decided to drop her candy corn protest, and moved on to the protest of 'fat things that look like elephants jumping into shallow waters with flat rocks who instead could put their face in a bath tub and drown.' After her 8 hours of writing a banner of that, she made her way out. (Just to be correct, she found out early that he would commit suicide, so lets say strong sad has been standing there for 6 hours.)  
  
Now to Strong Mad (who has yet to make a valuable appearance.)  
  
Strong mad was in his normal mind state. Pain, revenge and football. He was upset that the Philadelphia Eagles lost to the panthers, because really, the Eagles are so much better. Then the Colts losing, that really hurt him. I mean, Superbowl XXXVIII was supposed to be the Eagles and Colts, but no, they both had to eat crap and lose.  
  
Sorry, that's just my feelings, but I bet Strong Mad would agree.  
  
Now to Bubs  
  
Bubs, decided to get into a spirit, be dressing up as Santa. He walked around just like Santa. He gave cheap gifts, which were nothing more than cheap little toys you can find in those things at the market for a quarter. When people would receive them (besides strong sad who doesn't get one) they would throw them away, or chuck them into the snow and hope they grew into a better toy for the spring.  
  
Now back to Strong Bad  
  
Strong bad was so ready now. The next moment he saw Homestar, he would give him the gift. Not only was Strong Bad ready, but also Homestar had an ace up his sleeve. He decided that just on the off chance that Strong Bad had a good gift, he would return something to him.  
  
Strong Bad went to check his email one last time before he took a day off.  
  
"If you called an Email by any other name, it would still smell like an Email."  
  
Dear Strong Bad:  
  
What are you getting for Homestar this year? I mean really, we all want to know. Why wont you tell us, or at least give a good hint. Oh, and by the way, what's with your brother wanting to kill himself?  
  
Draco St. Marcus jr. Zzyzx, California  
  
(Yes, it is a real place.)  
  
Well Draco San Marco, I'll gladly give you a hint. What's brown and sticky? No, I'm kidding there is a good way to hint this. It's a gift, its box shape because in this 2-dimension world, there is now a 3- dimension, but only for certain things. Like my gift, its boxed shape, there's something inside, and the dumbest person can use it. That's why it's perfect for Homestar Runner. All I know is that he's going to like this more than I liked those DEEP IMPACT (hint hint) DVD's.  
  
Stayed tuned for chapter 4, where more stuff happens.  
  
And for those who care, I'm going to add additional post commentary.  
  
Pogosword: Wow, I like this chapter, I'm proud of myself.  
  
Darklink313: Why, nothing great happened.  
  
Pogosword: True, but this was a meant to be a plot thickener. I mean, chapter four is going to be awesome. I just hope this gets reviewed better. If it does, then it can change the ending for everyone.  
  
Darklink313: Really now.  
  
Pogosword: Yes.  
  
Darklink313: You know what, now that I review it, it is good. Everyone got an appearance, and did something. Now all I want to know is what the gift is. I have my own guesses, but I'm going to be a good little boy and wait for the next chapter.  
  
Pogosword: Yes you are, and if I want to be an ass, ill lose the gift and everyone gets NOTHING! Wa ha ha.  
  
Darklink313: No, don't ruin it. Pogosword: Okay, I wont. But folks, stay tuned, by the end of the week I'm going to finish this. And this weekend, ill be gone, but I'll make MXC episode one. That will be good. 


End file.
